I Am A Mess: Here For Your Entertainment 

This is how my morning is going:

Story 1: You know you’re tired when you try and scan your office badge to operate the evelvator. Once you figure out how to get to the floor that your office resides on and the elevator door opens, you look around to make sure your on the right floor. (And, in my defense, it was pitch black. The lights are sensored and had not been triggered to come on). The doors opened. I hesitated. I almost felt like I was ins horror movie. I continued to pause as the doors almost shut. I walked out of the evelavator a few steps, but not too far so if something were to try an attack me or if I saw the creepy twins from The Shining, I could run back inside the elevator. I thought, “There’s no one here. What day is it?”. Then I realized and thought to myself, “You’re here early you idiot.”…
Story 2: You know you’re tired when you clumsily pull up your underpants and somehow manage to pierce the fabric with your thumbnail. You now have a large hole in the butt-crack area of your under garments. Nice. 

It wasn’t even 9:00 a.m. yet… WHERE IS MY LIFE COACH?! I need an adult. 

Welcome to my life. 

Note to self: green smoothies are bad in the morning, coffee if better.